In this world, looks are everything

I'm back to my old tricks but I don't care. It feels safe.

66.0 on the scale this morning. It's not good enough.

-egg fried rice-280

-diet coke-0

That's what I have had so far. Later I think I will either have a yogurt, or a coffee. On second thoughts, perhaps I won't have the coffee, the caffeine really can't be helping with the insomnia problem

Attempting to sort a prescription for that currently.

I think I've found a good way to restrict during school time. As you might remember me mentioning from a few posts back I don't have much pressure to eat at home... as I live with my mum, we don't have big sit-down family meals. So I am not forced to eat big dinners, I am pretty much left to my own devices when it comes to making my own food at home. Conversely, lunch time is when I am around my friends, and they all seem to think I am eating 'healthily' now (they were very persuasive of me to stop dieting/restricting last year when things got bad; I finally gave in and walked away from it all for a few months). So I will make my main meal lunch. I will get my food then and convince everyone around me that I eat like that 3 times a day. Then on my way home every night I will buy a liter of diet coke and live on that for the evening.

I have the best excuse to lose weight in the world. Well not an 'excuse' per se but something to drive me on. R will be there, every day, in the common room, in my English classes and I want something to wave in her face. I know it will get to her more than anything to see me supposedly 'shoving my face' at lunch and the weight falling off me. It will lead her to believe I am losing weight healthily and happily without her.

For the record, we were kind of in this dieting thing together. Then she took it way too far.. But she's meant to be completely 'healthy' now but it still pisses me off that she never gained any weight back and is still tiny, supposedly.

School starts tomorrow and I'm dreading it. But if I stick to my guns this plan will get me through the horrors of the next term...