Long story short, I gained weight. A lot of weight. I’m 152.8 lbs. currently, to be precise. And it has come to my attention recently just how unattractive I become when I go over the 145 lb. mark. To put it one way, my face looks like a circle. I’m 20. If ever there is a time to shed your puppy fat for good, it’s now. The other day when hanging out with Caro in the broadway, the guy who was serving us cigarettes said I looked fifteen. He could have been joking but it got to me. I don’t want to have a baby face anymore. I see girls with those big wide smiles and skinny chins and smile lines and I feel jealous. I hate smiling these days because it just pushes my cheeks out even further. Ugh.
As well as losing the fuck ton of weight I gained this winter, I’m also in dire need of totally re-booting my attitude towards work. I’m not expecting to become perfect at everything overnight, but next term is going to be the most hectic term of the year, and my energy needs to be peak. The only way to get round this is by getting myself organised, staying focused on the task at all times, and essentially entering some sort of lean-mean-work-machine state whereby anything is possible. Last term I quickly lost sight of the things I set out to achieve, and it ended disastrously. Next term will be a different story. Fingers crossed, because I really do want to do well this year.
So the resolutions after New Years will be as follows:
-Start exercising
-Quit drinking
-To not buy cigarettes anymore
-Get into routine and stick to it
-Lose 30 lbs
-Make one short film
-Read more widely
-Do well at school.
-Oh, and don’t fall in love again, because it ruins everything, as I found out this year.
I’ll get back to logging my intakes tomorrow. There’s been no point as of late considering I’ve been eating well over 2,000 calories a day. The emphasis this week will be placed on more fresh fruit/veg, and less cheese/carbs, which I rely on way too much to make up the majority of my diet.
I actually can’t wait for 2013 to be over. It’s been one hell of a year, ‘hell’ being the operative word.
Urg, tell me about it. If I'm anywhere close to a healthy weight, I have a round baby face (though my height's gotten me mistaken for an adult since I was 14!). If I'm underweight, I start to look like a real adult, but I've never achieved 'gaunt' and doubt I ever will.
ReplyDeleteI like your resolutions, they're very positive. I really need to start reading more and stop smoking so much, though I'm not pushing myself, it's more of a 'when the time's right' kinda thing.
Only... five and a half hours left of the year here! Wishing you a safe and happy new year, and best of luck with your goals!
xx
I have a lot of the same resolutions this year, even the one about making a short film. I'd really like to do that, too. I've been doing interviews with my friends for a few months now and I want to sting them together into a documentary of sorts.
ReplyDeleteI have a baby face, too, but my face seems to be round at my low and high weights. I get what you mean about not wanting to smile. I think about that all the time, not wanting to make my eyes smaller in pictures.
Just one word of concern- maybe try to make a few smaller goals as well? I think setting the bar too high at first only makes it harder to do the things you want to accomplish. Like maybe just set the goal of 5 pounds in January. It feels so good to achieve even the small steps.
Best of luck to you in the new year,
Jax