Happy pills

I finally plucked up the courage to go to my GP about my recent bout of depression. She said I was severely depressed and that another course of medication might help me get through this rough patch. So I've been prescribed 10mg of Citalopram daily. I have 28 pills in my box and if I can tolerate it for the first two weeks, on the third week I can double my dosage to 2 pills a day (20mg). I started on the pills yesterday evening and already, today, I am feeling so much better. It's weird, like I was so zonked I slept until 2pm... then when I woke up I just felt more steady somehow. Like the day wasn't going to be a complete blow-out for once. I didn't feel ecstatic or manic or anything, just... stable. Very odd feeling.

In addition to all that good stuff, I didn't feel the need to binge or overeat tonight for the first time in forever. In fact, I consumed less than 800 calories today, and that's only because I actually had to remind myself to eat something after going 6 hours not even thinking about food. I looked it up and apparently loss of appetite is a really common side effect with these pills, so perhaps it will be much easier to jump back into restricting than I thought. Which is nothing short of a miracle, if you ask me.

I have to get myself to sleep earlier than usual tonight (ie. before 1am) as I have a meeting in school with my art teacher at 9am. Needless to say I'm not looking forward to that one, but I guess I have to face the music some time, and maybe the meds will help me feel more in control of the situation. I've skipped so much school lately and I don't want to fail this A level, even though I'm taking it optionally. Sigh. I just hope she doesn't go all passive aggressive on me like she usually does. I would prefer if she stood there and yelled at me to be honest. But... I'm not gonna sweat it. If she gets bitchy I'll just keep reminding myself she's a badly paid, fat, old, ugly, mean teacher who's probably failed at everything she wanted to do in life. Haha it kind of sounds like I'm the bitch now... but that's the way I have to think with her, in order to stop myself turning into a wet blanket and breaking down. God's sake. *Sigh*.

On another note, my dad's back in London for the weekend and I think he wants to take me and my sister out for dinner tomorrow night. If we end up going to our favourite Thai restaurant I'll just get broccoli in soy sauce or something. I want tomorrow to be a proper 600 day. Kind of sucks that I have to get up early because of course that always means more hours in the day to eat, but if my appetite is as non-existent tomorrow as it was today, I'm sure I'll be able to handle it.

Oh and by the way, I've dropped a measly pound since hitting my ghastly high weight of 148, so I'm down to 147. Still grim, but better than no loss, or worse, a gain. Hoping that today will have paid off and I'll be sticking to the straight and narrow from here.