My mind has shifted about all week regarding the art and whether or not I'm going to take it. But I think I've made my final decision that I will, purely because I want to stick to my guns on this one, and I know I'll feel guilty if I let myself down. I set out to do this for myself and no one else, so I need to grow a pair and just stick it out for 4 puny more months until I'm free for a 4 month long summer. Then I can go interrailing with my friends around Europe cheaply, maybe get some work abroad, go to Rome or Paris, do all the things I've wanted to do for the past year but haven't been well enough to handle. This time will come, and that time will be right, and sunny, and warm, and lovely. But right now it's frosty outside, and I need to regain my mental health, my physical strength, my inner calm. I can't do that if I'm changing my mind all over the place and having near-to-nervous-breakdowns and shitting myself over the prospect of what might happen if I quit school before I've given this term a chance.
Something that's cheered me up today is that my skin is finally clearing up. It's smoother and I don't have to wear as much make-up, which is brilliant (it's my secret ambition to be that lucky bitch at university who still looks beautiful au naturel). I'm also down to 147 lbs, thank the Lord. It might have something to do with the fact that I don't eat crisps or sweets anymore; I've eliminated gluten, caffeine and artificial sweeteners almost entirely; I make fresh protein smoothies from scratch nearly every day with tons of green veggies and superfood wonders such as chia seeds, and I go jogging for 20 minutes every morning now. (I'm also in the process of getting my gym membership sorted, which is très exciting. Swimming every afternoon? Yes please).
Hey, just wanted to say hello, I’m Mona. Your blog is really interesting- actually it is the first one to have inspired me to create my own blog. It sounds like the year ahead of you is bound to be fantastic!
ReplyDeleteTake Care
-Mona