I decided to give my blog a little make-over, along with my head. I realised I've been a depressed, chaotic mess lately, and I don't want things to be that way anymore. It may sound stupid, but ending up back in the 150s again, has made me reconsider a lot of things. While I should have been eating well, treating myself a bit more kindly, and focusing on other stuff besides food, I turned myself into a food-maniac. I've been so preoccupied with wanting to lose weight, hating the way I am now, and desperately wanting to change myself into something (or someone) I'm not, that I've ended up addicted to stuffing my face, because a big part of me has felt I deserved that kind of treatment. No. I'm not doing this anymore. The self-hate ends here. I have things to look forward to, and things to be happy about, and it doesn't all have to be miserable. I'd like to start celebrating myself, and enjoying life, instead of drowning in a bottomless pit of self-loathing all the time - one that I created.
It's time for a bit of a life make-over. I'm going to start treating myself well - eating small, healthy meals that satisfy and nourish me, and exercising every day. I'm dying my hair a lighter chocolate brown, and getting a few inches taken off, and I'm going to make sure it looks as shiny and healthy as it can. I've realised how pale I look, and my naturally almost-black hair isn't doing me any favours. I'm gonna start wearing some different stuff, too, so that I can start looking at my figure differently. I'm not interested in hiding myself anymore. I just want to be the best that I can be. Hopefully weight loss will follow, and while that might be a slower process than I wanted, as long as I eventually get to where I want to be, that's all that matters. I've been kidding myself that I could take on this new identity and no one would notice. But transformations don't happen overnight - they're a gradual process, and I'm starting my metamorphosis now.
Things to look forward to -
1. New waitressing job that I've just started - good way to meet new people, get out of my comfort zone, earn some money and not to mention the great exercise!
2. Alfie coming home for Easter next Tuesday
3. Going to LA on March 30 - getting a tan, drinking yummy smoothies, and seeing my dad
4. Bash coming home for summer on April 28th
5. University in October, after a (hopefully!) amazing summer
and finally,
6. Being me. Yes, that is something to look forward to.
I love this post! A life makeover sounds excellent. New hair is always a great picker-upper too.
ReplyDeleteKeep looking at your list of things to look forward to, don't let them out of your sight!
Good luck with your metamorphosis <3 xx
This will definitely work. It may be a slower way to lose weight, but hopefully easier to stick to and therefore less really high calorie days and you'll also find it easier to keep the weight off in the long run.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!!
Emily xxx