Stand still look pretty

Sup girlies. Wellll, I just got back from the casting about an hour ago - it went really well :) I doubt I won or anything but I don't even care - I loved the experience. It was mostly waiting around and butterflies, and then we were in and out in 10 minutes, ridiculous. But I found out I was whittled down to 20 from 300 applicants which is insane. What a compliment. I woke up at 142.6 which put me in a grump but the minute I did my makeup and put on my heels I felt attractive, and nothing else really mattered. I hardly ever feel beautiful and I have felt beautiful all day. It was such a treat.

Food so far has gone like this:

B: Small all-butter croissant (170 kcal)

S: Vegan seed bar, a handful of raisins & a lollipop (180 kcal)

L: Couscous with veggies & sweet chilli sauce (300 kcal)

S: 2 sugar-free Maria cookies with 1 tbsp PB (170 kcal)

And dinner will be a Snickers ice cream (277) because I bought one earlier when it was boiling hot thinking I wanted something cold... and I had a peanut craving. Now it's raining and cold. The weather in London is so bipolar...

I loved being in Central London this morning so, so much. As I walked to the tube station, 5'11 in my heels with a cigarette in one hand and my bag in the other, I knew people were noticing me and it felt amazing. It made me think 'this could be my life next year, or in my twenties'. I definitely want to spend a lot more time up in Central, wearing gigantic heels and amazing fur coats and having some money to spend, maybe. I feel like if I lost just a few more lbs I could actually look good. I've never thought that before. If you told me a year ago I would have been narrowed down from 300 applicants to 20 for a top magazine, at 142.6 lbs, I would have laughed in your face.

That's all for now. I have got to finish my language coursework and get myself ready for school tomorrow! Now that I know I can handle a model casting and not die, I feel I can handle anything.