Endorphins!!! Wheeee!

So it dawned on me this morning that the in-denial-bingeing had to stop. I was up to an unseemly weight after stuffing my face AGAIN last night despite telling myself I absolutely wouldn't, and it was time to take action. I hastily proposed a moratorium on shitty empty carbs over this weekend, and told myself I needed to be super strict until I got back to 140. Today wound up pretty good...

-I had a fibre and protein-packed smoothie for breakfast. It was pretty big it had 2 pears, 1 apple, 1 banana, 2 tbsp oats, 200ml unsweetened almond milk, some cinnamon and agave nectar

-I didn’t eat again till the evening when I went out for sushi with Caro and Tina. There I got pretty much the same thing I got last time because it is amazing food... this Chinese broccoli dish with oyster sauce and sesame seeds, sweet tofu ‘duck’ spring rolls (they were vegan) and a raw organic pressed apple & carrot juice

-After that we got late-night coffee. Of course I had a holy soy vanilla latte and then I stopped eating for the day and just smoked.

Then I got home around 9.30pm and as my sister was feeling a little depro I suggested we go for a late night jog. We did just under 15 minutes round the block, then came home and did about 20 minutes of yoga, pilates, crunches stretching to music in our sitting room. It was genuinely the best workout I have had in a while... I can still feel the burn as I type this at half past 11... but it was a good burn. Jesus, they don't lie when they say that endorphins get you high. I am buzzing. And if I do that workout every day, with my sister who gets just as tragically out of breath as I do despite weighing 105 lbs, along with the health food thing I just know I will have a good body by Christmas. It's inevitable, there's no way around it (or so I like to think). Failsafe plan? With the odd cheat day thrown in.

So yeah since my weight has gone up to about 145 or something awful because I have had several cheat days in a row I am just taking it easy on my body this weekend and sticking to vegan stuff, super foods and juices. On Monday I will probably phase some yogurt or sushi back in or something… I just want to get back to the 140 I hit a few days ago and until then things will be kept pretty strict.  Sooo my next cheat day will be my birthday (next Thursday), where I will probably let myself drink and have some sort of dinner out at a nice restaurant. I've only got 5 days until then so I want to look the best I possibly can and have a good night.

Food tomorrow: bananas, 2 super food smoothies, Nakd raw vegan bars, walnuts, lentils, raw apple & beetroot juice, granola with almond milk if I get desperate for cereal. NO DAIRY. NO MEAT. NO CIGARETTES. And exercise. I can totally do this.

(I'm also secretly hoping that if I keep going with this, I will get over Alfie, and not have to think about him/miss him so much. This evening I also started talking to my ex-girlfriend. Life is strange.)