Eco-warrior

So last night I had a binge, a mental breakdown, and then an hour of desperately searching online for potential jobs and voluntary work I could do. I applied for voluntary work at two London theatres looking for young people to get involved in front of house jobs and student representative roles, and I also volunteered with Oxfam at the end of October to take part in a charity/fundraising run cheering on the runners... next time it will be me doing the running. I also signed up to help tidy up/paint this youth centre next month and am thinking of volunteering to tidy up the Brompton cemetery. I'm just trying to be pro active, assuage the guilt and bulk out the calendar I guess... made me feel vaguely better, and also made the binge feel... dare I say it... worth it?

If I don't get the theatre projects, I'm going to stick my CV in the window of this chocolate shop in Central London that are always asking for help. It's paid work, part-time, and all I would have to do would be stand behind a till and look pretty and smile and pick rich people out boxes of chocolates. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

Busy week coming up. Art days tomorrow and Tuesday; babysitting Wednesday; birthday Thursday; Amsterdam Friday. Me and my sister are escaping for a long weekend. I need to get the fuck out of London again because I'm lonely and bored and Amsterdam understands me. Plus cigarettes are cheap there and weed is legal. What's not to like.

About to meet Tina for a coffee (standard) - sometimes I feel like she, and Caro, are my only real friends at the moment. There are others floating around like Raina and Ginger but they're not properly in my life. They are kind of fairweather friends that I just talk about arbitrary things with and right now I need people who truly understand what's going on.
 
Fat. 144 lbs. Need to go fully vegetarian or 90% vegan ASAP. Need to stop bingeing. Need to start running again. Need to make the most out of life.