I had my waitressing training day this afternoon. I learnt so much, and by the time it was over, I was completely exhausted. Everyone there was so lovely, and I surprised myself by going from 11.30am to 7pm without a) anything to eat and b) not one cigarette. Needless to say, the minute I got home I completely binged on Easter chocolate (it's only February, for God's sake, but the creme eggs and Malteser bunnies have already started plaguing the supermarket aisles!!), 4 packets of Hula Hoops, bread and hoummous, Caesar salad with extra parmesan cheese, and wine. Oh, that brings me onto the second point: I quit the prozac, cold-turkey, approximately 3 days ago. I think it was the right decision. I truly believe it was making me worse. So yeah, now I can drink, and hopefully my mood will be stabilised from now on. 

But back to the training thingy - I ran into an old friend! This girl I made friends with on holiday about 5 years ago was there, and oh my God, she is so skinny. Like, we used to look so similar, weight-wise, height-wise, facial features-wise... everything. Now we're about the same height, but she is ridiculously beautiful, and has the thinnest arms I've ever seen. But yeah, she's really awesome and sophisticated and I think we might end up being really good friends. Also she was the only other smoker there, and we were both dying by the end, so we bonded over that! It was probably the most motivational thing that happened to me all day. Seeing someone change so dramatically like that over a few years, and how much of a difference weight loss makes to someone's attractiveness overall. Needless to say, I felt pretty much like a fat failure next to her. I don't know if her weight loss was natural or not, but what I do know is that she has a figure I would die for. Lucky bitch.

Now onto me and how I've been doing... ha. Ever the let-down, I've been eating so much food over the last few days. I got back to 146, but I went straight back up to 147 today, and tomorrow, I'm dreading seeing it, but 148 will probably happen. I've realised I'm not ready to recover. I won't be starving myself again because I don't think it helps whatsoever, but I can't deal with 'normal' amounts of calories just yet. Not until I reach my goal of 136, anyway. So from now on it'll be porridge with fruit for breakfast, soup or chopped tomatoes with toast for dinner, and plenty of tea, water and coffee in between to keep me going. Maybe I could reach 136 by the beginning of March...? Kind of going out on a limb there, but if I aim high, I'll probably shift at least some of this fat before then. 

I've been slacking majorly with the gym, too. Haven't been in over a week :/ So tomorrow it'll be gym, and seeing Tina, as she's back in London. Just gotta make sure I don't get lulled into a false sense of security with the whole social eating thing!