Fucking pizza.

Firstly, Happy Valentines Day everyone :) I thought I was going to have a shit Valentines, as usual. But Tina came over, and we spent the afternoon together :) It was lovely. We got some cheap knock-off Bailey's (possibly my favourite alcoholic drink ever), and sat outside in the sun drinking and smoking. Which brings me to... the weather might FINALLY be looking up. Thank the fucking Lord. Nothing worse than a bleak, long winter that never ends. 

Oh, and I got a message from Alfie! Nice to know he still cares, after everything. That made my day extra special. It's the first Valentine I've ever had - besides my own dad, of course. I should probably visit him soon at uni, but he's always so busy, and I feel way too fat to show my body in front of him. I want to be in the 130s at least before I even consider seeing him. I just feel so ridiculously unattractive up here. 

I ate quite a lot today, though, which wasn't great. Good old porridge and golden syrup for breakfast, chased down by a large cup of herbal tea. Then me and Tina went for coffee, and I got a cinnamon soya latte (I have no idea how many calories were in it. I'm going to guess it was around 180, as I only got a small one). We also shared this feta, rocket and sun-dried tomato pasta salad, which was yummy, but another 200 calories on top of the coffee. Then we frequented all the cheap-o shops and I got a ton of instant hot chocolate & coffee sachets, strawberry Ready-Brek, tinned chopped tomatoes and Pepsi Max for a fiver :) Gotta love the pound store. I also got some bread and Tesco Value garlic & herb philly, so I'll be having that with my chopped tomatoes hopefully over the next couple of days. And I'm going to have the Ready-Brek for my breakfasts, as all the porridge oats have nearly run out :( 

So we came home, got some booze, and I had this tiny vanilla shortbread cookie thing, which wasn't even that nice - thank God, otherwise I would have eaten the whole packet. Oh and she also offered me some Valentines chocolates her mum had given her, which I couldn't turn down. Fat Gabby took over once again. I doesn't stop there. I had some saltine crackers with hoummous too! Bloody hell. I was on a snack frenzy. Luckily I had plenty of diet pepsi and cigarettes to stop me from going too overboard. But at least I stopped there... for a while. 

When Tina left, I made myself some Caesar salad from the leftover ingredients in our fridge, and ate a few chocolate mini eggs with my sister in front of Harry Potter, which she insisted on watching with me. Not that I minded, I love Harry Potter. Then at around 10pm she ran out of cigarettes and practically had a hissy-fit breakdown, until she realised she could order them online from Hungry House. But not without a food order! Oh joy. 

She ordered a small cheese pizza. What a joke - it was bloody massive, and she made me eat like 2 slices with her! Luckily, I left most of the bread bit and just ate the cheese topping, but it was so disgustingly greasy I had to drink like 2 huge tumblers of water just to get rid of the sliminess in my mouth. Urgh. So that was a major flop, but I'm just glad I only ate the equivalent of one slice. She left the pizza box on the kitchen counter for anyone to help themselves to, and there were 5 massive slices left. D: Pizza, my second kryptonite after crisps. I should probably give them both up for Lent. 

So all in all today I probably consumed around 1,400 calories, give or take a few. It pained me to add that all up. I'm going to do some exercises on my bedroom floor to work off a couple, just so I can fall asleep without feeling guilty. Which leads me onto the point of... I have been slacking SO badly with the gym thing lately. I haven't been in over a week! Gross. But I'm gonna try to go tomorrow, before I have to babysit. Then it's fun fun childcare time from 3-11pm. Oh well, at least it means money :P 

The plan tomorrow is probably just to have porridge with dried fruit for breakfast with peppermint tea, then maybe I'll bring a can of soup in my bag to have for dinner when the boy has gone to bed? Je ne sais pas. I feel weird cooking my own food in other peoples' houses. Small price to pay to lose weight, I guess, and it'll stop me from eating the food in their fridge. Which is mortifying to say the least.