Heatwave

Jesus, the weather in London is just ridiculous. Anyone besides the lovely Isobel live in London? I took an hour walk for some stupid reason and by the end I was ready to die from the heat. It's 8pm and I'm STILL sweating my balls off.

So, it's been a busy day. I was in hospital this morning, visiting the hematologist. Who told me I have chronic fatigue.  

Joy of joys. Guess that explains all the weird energy level stuff. I did suspect I had it (remember the conversation with my mother?) The reason my blood tests confused all the doctors was because it's not uncommon for those who have suffered mononucleosis (glandular fever) to have post-viral fatigue. But mine has gone on way too long to have been a result of my recent bad health, so they reckon it started after I recovered from glandular fever last year. I've actually had this for a while, but the recent viral attack worsened my symptoms.

Anyway, all it means is (for now) I can't push my body to the limits. Exercise will make this worse. I'm not 'allowed' to get too stressed for the exams. I can only handle what I can handle, if you see what I mean. The doctor said I had to learn to 'budget' my energy, not wipe myself out, and hopefully, over time, this will get better. It'll take a while, but next year I should have a good portion of my energy back, as long as I take it easy now.

I don't particularly think starving myself or consuming the large amount of caffeine/sweeteners that I do is going to help me with the fatigue. Actually, the chronic fatigue website states, under 'diet guidelines', that anything with aspartame, caffeine, or even too much sugar in can worsen or trigger symptoms. So I've been having a little think, and I reckon, for the sake of my health, I am going to temporarily shorten my goal by a few lbs. My new goal is to lose only 11 more pounds, bringing me to 125 (or BMI 18.5, the lowest I can be while still technically 'healthy'). Once I'm at 125, I will be slowly bringing up my calorie count in a very controlled disciplined fashion so I don't put any of the weight back on - until I reach the recommended caloric intake for someone of my height and age, which happens to be around 1800-2000 calories.

I figured, I have forever to lose those last 5 lbs. But right now, I might as well take advantage of study leave, and lose a big chunk before the social stuff starts to pick up pace after exams.

This morning, much to my disappointment, I weighed in at 136.0. So I gained .4 of a lb from yesterday, I don't know how, but it's behind me. I was tempted to binge all day because of this set back, but I didn't; I actually ended up with a pretty good intake:

- 4 saltine crackers (63)
- 1.5 tbsp peanut butter (130)
- Skinny caramel coffee frappuccino (96)
- 2 salads with Russian dressing (250)
- Diet coke (1)

Total: 540

It's tomorrow I'm worried about - the afternoon cinema trip with Alfie and Zara. (Thank God we're going to see a film rather than anything else... I don't think I could take the heat or energy expenditure). My plan is to get a small bag of pick&mix, which is super expensive in London cinemas; that should deter me from buying too much. I will eat it slowly and enjoy it, then once the film is over, that's it. I'm done with the food. I am NOT staying at this weight until the end of the week, I simply won't have it.

Also, I am seriously contemplating giving up diet coke. Actually, all artificially sweetened products. It's bollocks, it isn't good for me, water is just as refreshing, and it's a waste of money, anyway. I will try to cut down on the smoking too. 

The End.