Sunday cont.

I stepped on the scales this evening and I'm 140.8 - woo! I won't have gained tomorrow! I'm so happy :) Being back in the 130s really does feel good. I didn't plan the strawberry lace or the extra 1/2 packet of crisps, but my sister randomly called me at lunch and asked if she could come over. Of course I said yes even though I'm hungover because I adore my little sister. We sat on the green in the sun. It was lovely. It could have been much worse, usually we buy like a pint of fruit smoothie and five bags of crisps to share. We are crisp fiends the both of us :/ But I don't know where she puts it. I think fast food just evaporates off her when she eats it. 

As for that vanilla frosting... Jesus I really had to restrain myself from finishing the whole tub. Betty Crocker is a bitch. She makes me break my diet every time... But not today! I shouldn't have gone into the tub in the first place but it was calling out to me. I managed to escape with 1 teaspoon of the stuff and then I downed a shit load of diet coke and went to the bathroom. Then I felt better.

Tomorrow I'm going into school but only to see my friends and go out to lunch with them. It's just, I've got a good thing going with my revision at home. I find it easy to study here, at my little desk, next to a big window that lets in sunlight and makes me feel relaxed and happy. I have my moments of procrastination - like now - but to be honest, they're nowhere near as bad as before. I think I handle studying for exams better than I do coursework. Coursework I put off, and off, and off till the last minute. With exam work, I just make a shitload of notes and read my textbooks and I can go with it, I actually enjoy it in a funny kind of way. Restricting helps also. It makes me focused and I can follow one train of thought rather than my mind creatively exploding and obliterating my inner sense of calm. (I sound like such a hippy, but it's true). When I decide to go into school, I waste the entire morning having a bath and making myself presentable enough that the teachers don't bug me with questions about my health. I go in for my one English class which usually is a total waste of time, because I'm going at my own pace with revision, and all classes do is remind me how behind I am in a few of the texts. I won't understand half of what's going on, but because I'm brainy I'll pick out good points and my teacher will tell me I'm doing remarkably well despite my illness which gives me a false sense of security. Ughh. So it's better to just go in when I'm feeling up to it rather than forcing myself to turn up. I'm on a super flexible schedule anyway. The important thing is working hard at home, and getting out every day to see my friends/go on a long walk/occasionally go in for a lesson or a catch-up with one of my teachers.