Well today I'm feeling pretty crappy, which is a shame because the weather outside is great. I want nothing more than to just get better and back on my feet, and to see my friends. They've all offered to come and visit me but I just don't know if I can handle it right now. They visited me at the beginning of my hospital stay when I wasn't as unwell as I became this week (ie. I could still talk and hold a decent conversation, and I wasn't groaning in pain all the time). I'm like a vegetable at the moment. I am still able to write and think intelligibly but too much human interaction is taxing and it hurts to use my voice.

I'm clocking up 22 pills a day in total.

I realise that, for recovery, the 1,200 calorie mark is still pretty low. Normal people eat more than this, and after all, normality with my eating is something I am going to try hard to achieve. However I've come to the conclusion that I am still trying to lose weight. Yes I'm trying to lose it more slowly over a period of time and get more nutrition and balance from my diet, but I'm still not perfectly happy with the weight I am. My body looks fine at this weight, but I will feel much more confident with it once it's been refined a bit and I've slimmed down in certain areas. Hopefully keeping my calories at a steady, fairly low but not dangerously low number, will allow me to slowly lose about 10 lbs, then once I've got a grip on maintaining the weight loss I'll gradually build my calories up to a more 'normal' number.