I’ve been 145 for days, and it has frustrated the hell out of me. I want to drop these last 9 lbs so it can just be over, and I can concentrate on other things besides weight loss.

I worked out that when I'm back down to 136, my BMI will be at 20.1. The disordered part of me senses I’ll still be discontent with that, but it’ll be a lot better than where I am now.

I just want to buy pretty clothes and shoes and to feel confident in my own skin again. I’ve already dropped a stone, so why is this last stretch proving so difficult?

Ate a shit ton today already, and out of cigarettes.

Breakfast: Slice of Nimble toast with peanut butter + fat free lemon yogurt (240 cals)
Lunch: Nakd cocoa orange bar + Seattle latte + 2 packets of Hula Hoops :/ (560 cals)
Snack: Jaffa cakes x2 + diet coke (140 cals)
Dinner (yet to have): Butternut squash soup (160 cals)

Total: 1,100 calories