L left to do her master's degree and I'm now living on my own, which technically should make restricting a lot easier... yet I'm up to a horrible 175 lbs, (down from the shocking 182 I glimpsed a few nights ago after a particularly bad binge). I'm depressed as hell and I need to get out of this funk. I'm jobless, broke, and behind at school. In short, my life has gone to shit and I need to do something about it - and quite frankly I know no better way than to lose a shit ton of weight. [At least then, I'll be thin and unhappy.]
BMI: 25.8
Av. cals per day: Too many
Av. exercise per day: Not enough
Today's death list
- 1/2 pot wholegrain fat-free apricot yogurt (200)
- Coffee with cream and sweetener (30)
- Brown rice, stir fry veg, soy sauce (400)
- 2 BirdsEye chicken burgers (270)
- Cornflakes with almond milk (200)
- All-butter fudge (250)
- 2 bagels with PB and jam (800)
Total: 2150 cal
See? This is what I mean. SORT YOUR LIFE OUT.
I also joined a gym. Have I been? No. I'm useless. This shit stops today and I start the new plan tomorrow. My sister's coming until Monday, and she usually wants to eat comfort food, stuff our mum cooked - macaroni cheese, green beans, sausages, mashed potato, sticky toffee pudding. I'll endure it because I love her, but I will not spiral out of control. I don't want my weight a notch higher than 173 after this weekend. Yes, somehow, miraculously, I am aiming to lose weight on this bender. I don't know how, but if I could do it when I was 15, I can do it again now.
I will not be fat and depressed any longer. I will look back on how I did it the last time, and, I will do it again.
No comments:
Post a Comment