R (best friend) ended things over the phone last night. It was possibly the cruellest, most callous way to end it. Right before fucking Christmas and she hardly gave me a chance to speak. It was the accumulation of a lot of problems (that she'd created) that she was trying to lay on me. She said she didn't have time for my 'petty social drama' anymore and that she couldn't be my friend this year. The girl is a nut job. Then she politely told me to have a nice holiday, and hung up.

This morning, I've had three hours sleep. My whole night was plagued by insomnia and bad dreams. I have no appetite. The idea of eating, for the sake of eating, makes me feel sick. I can't believe I will have to go back to school with her in January and suffer a whole two terms' worth of hell because she'll be ostracizing and ignoring me. I just want to die. And Charlie won't even be there as she's transferring schools.

The only thing left to do is starve it all away.I need the comfort of withdrawal and starvation. I am too sad to eat.