Goodbye summer

I'm feeling genuinely okay today. Not happy exactly, but not sad either... just sort of mellow I suppose. I haven't done much - a walk through the trees, some yoga, a long talk with my mother - but I've felt content being on my own for a while. My skin is completely clear; the healthy eating's paying off. I need to cut down on my smoking because I feel like it's holding me back from being as energetic as I could be. I weighed 141 this morning! Food today included yogurt, granola, banana, agave, seeds and goji berries for breakfast, some edamame and an acai & green tea drink mid-afternoon, and for dinner I had a huge piece of vegan spinach and potato pie, with an aloe vera and blueberry detox juice to end the day. I have a huge craving for coffee with almond milk so I may have that in an hour or two if the craving doesn't go away...

This morning I got my art schedule. It is very, very laid back which makes me happy, and I'm really only required for 4 afternoons' work per week, which is fantabulous. Thursday I am going in for a preliminary meeting where I will go through this term's upcoming work with my teachers. Then I can settle into some kind of a schedule and stop being such a lost acorn in the breeze :P

Alfie's leaving tomorrow, and before he does, he's coming by late morning to say goodbye. I will try not to be too heart broken as I'm sure I will see him again soon, but everything will change when he leaves. It will be time to move on from this summer and grow up, get on with the next thing. He'll be at uni with other girls and a hectic schedule so squeezing me in will probably be the last thing on his mind. I need to get myself a hectic schedule too, so that I'm not thinking about him as much, and he will be fitting in with me, not the other way round. My kneejerk reaction would usually be to go and find someone else to hook up with or whatever. I'm counting on the freshers events I'll be attending with Caro in London the week after my birthday for that. I guess I'm just not really in the mood, to be perfectly honest. I want Alfie and only Alfie at the moment and he's about to freaking move miles away so my heart is a little bit broken. I need some superglue or something.

Now that I'm getting into all this hippy vegan shiznit once again, I want to start incorporating that way of thinking into other aspects of my life. Maybe get a job in a thrift store or charity shop, or a health food place or something. I need to start looking ASAP. I went out today with my hair tied back into a massive messy half-bun with loads of long bits hanging down framing my face, I felt like the biggest hippy out. I want to meet a guy or a girl who is equally as into their smoking and smoothies as I am :( Again, counting on freshers, haha.

I want to go back to Amsterdam with my friends and my daddy and drink a ton of coffee and see beautiful people and visit beautiful places and be free again.

Very dull post, I do realise. Just a little update on my life I guess.

PS. My sister told me the other day that she lost her virginity on the first day of the month with this boy she's liked for ages. She's 15. I'm nearly 19, and it definitely doesn't look like I'm getting my cherry popped any time soon. Sigh.