Day 6

166.0 lbs this morning, so I gained. Ugh.

Also, I just found out that those garlic sausages I am now addicted to have 200 calories in each one. And I ate 2 of them with mustard for breakfast, washed down with 2 cups of coffee. Although it's 14.30 now so I guess they could count as breakfast and lunch.

Well that was a disaster.

The plan for the rest of the day is:

-Smoothie with frozen raspberries and coconut water (90 cal)
-Black coffee with fat free milk and splenda (25 cal)
-Green beans (60 cal)
-Diet coke (0 cal)

Since I had the garlic sausage already, and it had 2x the amount of calories I had planned (and I ate 2 sausages instead of just the one) the whole thing comes to 625. If I get hungry - diet coke or black coffee, and, naturally, cigarettes.

I hate having to starve myself out of the 160s. The last two days haven't exactly been starving, but in general it's odd for me to gain weight on <1200 cals. I guess my metabolism is just really slow, or it's stubbornly holding onto this weight because it's become too comfortable here. Once I get back to 150s I'll probably become less strict. It may seem like I'm being too hard on myself - but I'm essentially trying to shake off 10 lbs that have refused to budge in six months. I wish there was another way, but no other method works on me. I've tried healthy eating, cutting out animal products, exercise and nothing does the job like restriction does. I guess I'm just too damn impatient.

[An updated plan will emerge later. A plan designed to get me under 160 as quickly as possible. It will probably involve 3 sets of 200-calorie meals (and by 200, I mean no more than 150), copious amounts of black coffee, and ritalin taken at the recommended dosage after every meal.]

*edit:

I did NOT stick to the plan but instead ended up consuming:

-1 p. pear cider (180 cal)
-"Beef" burger (95 cal)
-Mayonnaise (40 cal)
-Kinder bueno (75 cal)
-2 mini frozen cheesecakes (160 cal)
-Sandwich thin (100 cal)
-Fat-free cottage cheese (100 cal)
-More garlic sausage with mustard (200 cal)

...And then proceeded to swallow two laxatives washed down with half a liter of Diet Coke in attempt to pretend it didn't happen.

The damage: 1347 calories

F M L

I'm so pissed at myself. The stupid thing is that two months ago this amount would have made me lose. But because I've been "restricting", suddenly this amount is enough to balloon me by a kilogram on the scale.

I said I'd draw up a new plan, and there's never been a better time to do it:

Breakfast (125 cal):
-1 serving apple-cinnamon oatmeal with Splenda (100 cal)
-1 c. black coffee with fat-free milk and Splenda (25 cal)

Lunch (175 cal):
-1 c. cereal (110 cal)
-1 serving frozen fruit [either raspberries or blackberries] (65 cal)

Dinner (99-160 cal):
either--
-1 "beef" burger (95 cal)
-Mustard (5 cal)
-Green beans (60 cal)
or--
-Frozen yogurt (99-150 cal)
or--
-1 sandwich thin with fat-free cottage cheese or an egg (150 cal)

Total: 399-460 cals

Rules:

• I will stick the plan.

• There will be no deviation from the plan, unless it's a situation I really cannot get out of, or there's a healthier/lower-calorie substitute.

• I will see the plan through until I hit 160. No exceptions.