I'm finally home. Thank God. The end of term was absolute hell. Because of my appalling attendance, I've been encouraged to take a leave of absence and study abroad is now off the table. So I've been devastated, depressed, in a black hole. But now I'm home and I feel like fuck it, I should just be focusing on myself to counter this. I was not who I wanted to be this term. I was overweight, and lethargic, and miserable. I will not return to university the same person in April. I need to change, evolve past this useless era of my life.

165.4 this morning, so 2 pounds lost since I got home. My goal is to be in the 140s or at the very least, low 150s by the time the holidays are up. I don't know what my plan is yet, but it's probably going to be a 1200 calories, no eating after midnight kind of thing.

Food today:

-Caramel macchiato with soy (240)
-Toast with peanut butter + banana (300)
-Roast gammon with asparagus, salad, dressing (350)
-Grape and raspberry juice (110)

Which comes to exactly 1000 calories. Granted I don't eat anything further (and I doubt that I will seeing as it's half past 9) I should technically see 164 tomorrow. There will be some progress after today I'm sure.

Feeling inspired but unable to tap into any thought or idea with the focus it takes to begin a new project. Considering waking up early tomorrow and going to the library or Starbucks to write. I need a fresh start and a new creative schedule, one that works.