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Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Fuck up

I don't know what is going on with my head at the moment. The idea of coursework, writing, piecing together information, is a notion so ridiculous and removed from me that I cannot even comprehend how I will meet the Thursday afternoon deadline. I can't even write a decent sentence, let alone a 3,000 word essay. I am freaking out. I've also completely neglected my English language work, which I should have a draft for in by Friday. Right. Because that's totally going to happen.

I hate that I had to get ill. I didn't deserve it, and it's fucked everything up for me.

So my weight is up to 140.4. Disgusting. I was crying as I stepped off the scales. I think I'm out of the 140s for good, then it comes back to bite me in the ass. Fuck. I can't believe I was at 135 a few weeks ago.

I think my op is going to be on April 1st. There was some talk about it being before that, but I doubt that will actually be the case. So, by the end of March, my goal is to weigh 134 lbs. MAXIMUM. I hope I can do this.


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1 comment:

  1. Fallen Faerie20 March 2012 at 17:23

    You're ever so welcome hunni, and thank you so much for the comment in return!
    Yea, him not being here makes it easier to "get away" with the way I eat and things, mind you he was a little more clueless about calories and things so it wasn't too hard. I just hope if it's going to take this long that I can be closer to my GW when he does finally move down.
    Thank you again hunni. Sorry today was so stressful for you. I haven't been doing school work in forever, but I have been trying to get a novel polished before June and know how you feel. My mind wanders and everything else seems to get in the way. I hope you can get caught up enough to keep moving forwards.
    Stay strong!

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