Fuck my life. I'm still only halfway through my Twelfth Night notes and it's 11.30pm. I am going to fail this fucking exam. Oh wanna know something else as well? I binged 'cause obviously that's what you do when you have to wake up at 7am and don't have time to sleep the bloat off, or when you're due to see your friend in the evening to eat further amounts of fattening shit. I am not tired. I am not sleepy. I'm not even enticed by the prospect of sleep, in fact I don't want to sleep at all, I think it would be best if I didn't sleep so I could just take this fucking exam in 9 hrs and then fall asleep afterwards. I've had too much fucking caffeine as well as if you couldn't tell. Apologies about the swearing. I went to babysitting and rammed two oat bars down my throat. They didn't even taste good I just needed to feel full... then the minute I felt full I hated myself again, it's just not fair. Oh and then I went home and had two nectarines 3x Toblerone chocolate pieces 3xslices of bread oh and a yogurt, clever clever me. Oh and some fucking crackers and 2 screwdrivers, forgot about those. Fucking orange juice. You are so nice to me in the mornings then in the evenings you just fuck me over. I can't wait till my Sudafed arrive, I need to clamp down on my motherfucking appetite. It's gone through the roof. Voracious hungry greedy girl. I don't deserve anything. Not the pizza or alcohol tomorrow night nor the food the night after that, or the drinks the night after that or anythingggggg
Ugh.
You are stressing and I think you deserve some food. I say just enjoy the rest of today and get back on track tomorrow. I would say wait until after finals but I am not sure how many more you have to do.
ReplyDeleteJust keep going over the information. When you take the test, ease your mind. That is what I do and it has not failed me yet.
You do deserve a hug though.. you deserve to not be stressed and to be happy.. Just think in one day this exam will be over and you will be free. Your head will be decluttered of exam rubbish, keep your chin up hun x
ReplyDeletedoes the sudafed suppress appetite? isnt it a cold medicine? sorry for the questions, i've just never heard of using that before...good luck in your exam tomorrow! xo.
ReplyDeleteAw don't worry about the binge. I hope the exam went ok! You are probably just hungry from all the stress, studying and lack of sleep. Before I finished my exams I felt like no amount of food would be enough it was crazy! Now my appetite has calmed down heaps so maybe that will happen for you too? It will be fine :)
ReplyDeleteAlice xx
Don't beat yourself up over the binge, it must have been because you were stressed. Hope your exam goes well, sending you lots of love xxx
ReplyDeleteit's so difficult to restrict when you're under stress - the more you try, the more you binge :( don't worry though, once you pass your exams (which i'm certain you will :)) you won't have to be stressed any more, and you can get right back on track. stay strong hun, you can do it! :) xxxx
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