The Heart of Hippie-dom

Today's been pretty much a success. I haven't been in much pain with my throat or ear and for the most part I ate pretty healthily. I also walked for like an hour which doesn't sound like much but when you have been convalescing for over 2 weeks it feels like a freaking work out.

This morning I had a standard health freak breakfast in bed: natural probiotic yogurt, 1/2 chopped banana, a small punnet of blueberries, dried apricots and pineapple pieces, a handful of granola, 1 tsp honey and 1 tsp cinnamon powder. I also had a little coffee with honey but that's not in the picture because who takes pictures of their morning coffee?! (Unless it's from some beautifully dinky French café, of course, in which case coffee photography is totally justified).

On my walk I stopped off at the organic & natural health foods shop near my house. The reason I went was mainly to find some containers of kale chips but I ended up getting a ton of other stuff too (and justifying it by telling myself I hadn't spent any money on food in 2 weeks). So yeah, these were the kale chips I bought:

As for the rest of the day I ate some beetroot salad, baby carrots and hoummous, cherry tomatoes, an oat and spelt cracker, bottled honey & lemon green tea, some popcorn and an orange carob bar. Carob, I've found, is almost as good as chocolate and way sicklier (I actually count this as a good thing because I stop eating it sooner). It's not amazing for you or anything but it's definitely better than chocolate... it's calcium rich, contains a lot of fibre, and Vitamin A, B1 & B2 apparently. The only thing I regret eating today was a 150 calorie bag of popcorn. It's not like popcorn is that evil or anything especially since it came from a health food shop. But I just didn't need it and I felt like by having it I was just being greedy... it didn't give anything to my body or nourish me in any way so it was a total waste of calories. I'm not too fussed though. Calories today came to <1500 but not far enough under, in my opinion... and they were unjustified calories seeing as I didn't do much... but I'll make up for it tomorrow. Oh and morning weight was 143 again. I'm okay with that, it's not as bad as 144.

Tickets are booked for Amsterdam and I'm so excited! I hope my throat is healed enough for me to smoke there because cigarettes are ridiculously cheap... like half the price of a pack over here, which is awesome. So I'm going to smoke as much as I want over there and when I come back to London on the 5th I'll be cutting down again.

I definitely feel a bit happier since I've decided to stop obsessing so much over the numbers side of things and focus more on what I'm actually putting into my body. I don't really have a set goal weight for school anymore. I would vaguely like to be in the 130s again but beyond that I think it's more important I go back feeling revived rather than worn out and ill. I actually want energy this term... I'm not gonna have energy if I don't eat properly.

I have this feeling that everything will be OK if I just become a chilled out, neo-hippie, stoner freak who wears tie-dye and walks everywhere and eats granola... that's the plan anyway. Oh and I forgot to mention, next year I get the cool lesbian couple as my art teachers, which is so good because I hate the rest of the department. One of the teachers is kind of scary and weirdly bipolar but they're both pretty chill if you keep on their good sides. I'm thinking of doing something really eclectic and impressive with my time next year, maybe aztec-related or astrological something... something with lots of patterns. I have a good feeling about it.  

In other news Alfie is dying of stress and sleep deprivation and his family is being a dick to him, I'm not very happy about it. He passed out and hit his head on a marble floor the other day... and wound up in the ER. I keep worrying that he's going to pass out at the wheel or something. Not cool. I've said this to him and he said he's working on fixing it but his dad needs him to all these business-type things and he's just really overworked. Gah. I can't control it. I don't even know. Things between us are fine, though. I just haven't seen him properly in a while and I miss snuggling my Alfie :(