Pool

140.8 lbs THANK GOD. OK, so I've hit Day 5 on the HSGD... I can't actually believe it. I don't wanna jinx it, but I've never actually got this far on a diet before. How pathetic is that? Usually I would have binged by now! But not this time. I haven't binged since Friday and I am over the moon about that. I might just have broken the pattern. Every time I get the urge to binge, I run upstairs and go to work out. If, after I've just spent 30 minutes crunching and twisting and all the rest of it, totally sweaty and gross and ready for a shower, IF I still want the food, then I can have it. But I have to exercise first (the idea is I'll do something productive towards weight loss and then probably change my mind).

Like last night, my mum had her boyfriend over, and she bought crisps. My absolute kryptonite. She offered me one. I had one, realised they weren't actually that great and it was already 10pm, and dashed upstairs to exercise. I had the best workout ever and in the shower I felt so proud of myself. My abs and legs are so sore from doing all the crunches! It's a good kind of sore though... I like it. It means I'm doing something right.

My skin is clearing up which I am very happy about. I generally have a very clear face (thanks to genetics) so when I get a spot, it's a big deal and I hate myself until it goes away. Those two ones that have just cleared up, well, covering them was practically an art. I'm hoping that if I keep exercising, combined with my long walks and eating clean, it'll help prevent break outs altogether. I really hate being a teenager and being so prone to these things :/ I hope by the time I go to uni I'll be past the breakout phase...

I've been seeing lots of my friends, but since coursework finished I haven't really done any work. Which is bad. I have kind of felt exhausted. Today I have a lesson in 2 hrs so I should probably get dressed and go into school for that. Much as I don't want to. But it's only 1 lesson, I have to go into that class some time, and afterwards me and the friends are lunching, which is always great so I'll just try my best to get through it.

Oh - several others things. 1. I was SO stupid yesterday. In the afternoon I went for a coffee/window shop with Caro, Tina and Bash. And while me and Caro were swanning round a newsagents we wound up picking up and buying all this junk. We only meant to go in there to get cigarettes!! I got a bag of salted pretzel sticks (291 calories), spinach and cheese bruschette savoury biscuits (322 calories), a packet of California raisins (129 calories) and I still haven't eaten those salt and vinegar crisps that have been hanging around like a dark cloud over my head for the past week. Dumb dumb dumb. I didn't really want *any* of that stuff. And I have no idea why I bought it? I get weirdly manic in food shops... especially when with Caro. But at least I didn't eat any of it. It's all in a plastic bag in my wardrobe and I am now going to have to ration myself. I'm going to have to before I binge on it. Dangerous territory. I wanted fro yo for lunch today but I'm gonna stick it and have the pretzels because I've already spent enough money. Bleh.

And 2. I have this thing coming up on Friday. Well, two things. I think I'm gonna ditch school that day (I only have 1 lesson anyway that I'm not really required to turn up to) because I'm going to the theatre with my dad at, like, 9, and then I have to get my ass the other side of London for a party that will be going on all night. It's in this guy's house who some of my friends know and his family own something huge, and they have a swimming pool in their basement. Isn't that obscene? Well. I think it is, anyway. It has its own changing rooms and a jacuzzi. But the point is, that I'll get there in the middle of the night, probably exhausted and most likely looking like shit. Everyone goes crazy at this guy's house apparently. Ie. getting in the swimming pool, making out in the swimming pool, etc. And my friends are planning on staying over. It would take an hour and a half to night-bus it back to my house (and it's a really dodgy route that I don't feel like taking when drunk at 4 o'clock in the morning). So I might sleep over... but I *really* don't want to. Like, if there's a spare bed in a quiet room in his massive house, I'll slink off and kip there, and then surreptitiously leave in the morning. But I do NOT want to wake up amongst other people after having swam in my make up and being totally hungover and everything else... erghh. These are the kinds of parties where people break up, or drown.

I'm gonna go to school now.
Love you all, beautiful girls. <3