Good day

Today was really fun :) I went to see The Dictator (effing hilarious by the way) with Alfie and Zara. Then Zara had to run home to look after her brother and me and Alfie spent, like, 3 hours basking on the green near his school (I offered to help him empty out his locker) and lapping up the weather. I don't know what it is with him, time seems to fly by. We had the best conversations. About everything. And he talked about his relationship history and I talked to him about mine, and then he drove me ALL THE WAY HOME IN HIS CAR... I'm going to stop now.

Oh my God, literally this second, Alfie and Charlie both texted me. At the same time. Awkwardddd.

The feelings stop here, OK, Gabby? They stop here. They don't exist. Nothing exists.  

I'm really moving on now. I managed to get out of a very close diet scrape at Nando's (thank the fricking Lord) but got pick & mix at the cinema, like I was expecting. I didn't get a very big bag. It only cost about 2 quid which in cinema terms is not very many grams... so hopefully I didn't exceed 300-400 calories with that one. Estimating makes me anxious so I'm just going to try to move on. But unfortunately I also had a small breakfast (half fat cheese 37, 2 saltine crackers 32), a few full-sugar mints in Alfie's car (40?), a handful or two of popcorn that was being passed around (100?) and when I got home half an hour ago, because it was calling out to me, a tbsp of peanut butter (95). Fuck. So today turned out to be more like 600-700 calories. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm freaking out now...

Well, there's nothing I can do about it until tomorrow. I was BANG ON 135.0 lbs. And tomorrow I'll probably be back to fucking 136. I love how I would have traded an arm for that number a few months ago. Now it's simply not good enough and I am really dreading not being back at 135 until motherfucking Sunday. Arghhh. But if I play my cards right I could probably be at 134 on Monday morning, meaning I'll be starting the week off pretty nicely, if I do say so myself :)

In good news, these jeans are fucking falling off me. Embarrassingly so, I just look like I've gone and picked up a pair wayyy too big for me. I was hoisting them up all day. Guess I'm a size 10 now? Who knows. When these start to get loose round the legs I'll go and buy another pair. I don't want to buy a pair of 10s then find they're too tight... that would just be depressing. Also, when Alfie dropped me back, and I was walking up to the house, I found my mum and her boyfriend just casually having champagne (my mum was in a royal blue floral sundress) in our front garden. And she said - her exact words - 'What's happened to you? Have you suddenly dropped a stone? You look ridiculously skinny, darling'. And I just smiled and said have a nice evening and walked inside. Into the COOL.

Once again it's 8pm and I am still bloody boiling.

Hope everyone is good. Fingers crossed I haven't gained too much weight from today :P at least I enjoyed myself right?? (Does that justify it...? I think so.)