Last update until next week

So, tomorrow has turned out to be epically busy, because not only do I have to pack, shave my legs, wash my hair and get myself to my dad's for the night, I also have a blood test scheduled mid to late morning, AND a possible follow-up appointment at the eating disorders clinic in the afternoon. This shit be hectic. I've had a bit of a stressful day; things are feeling very out of control in the work department, and I got upset realising the reality of the situation - that there is a only a tiny margin of possibility that I'll get to leave this October. It makes me so depressed to think of all the effort I put into things like personal statement, getting offers from all 4 of my unis, and doing the interview, only to have to repeat the whole process next year. We'll see how it all pans out. Right now, I have to work my motherfucking butt off, and that means taking this literature essay on holiday, unfortunately, as I no longer have tomorrow to finish up.

Right now I'm chilling in bed with a diet coke, watching LA Ink. I don't know why I like it. I'm not even a big fan of tattoos, not on myself anyway - I would never get one - although it is sort of fun watching other people get them done.. Also I kind of like watching the skinny hip girls in Los Angeles go about their business. It's such a fucked up place with a lot of fucked up people, but I find it so interesting somehow. I'd love to go there, when I'm older and can legally drink in the US. It would be pointless going there now, underage and with no money. Wanna hit the clubs!

Kat Von D is my height too. 5'9" BOOM. And she weighs 130 lbs allegedly.

So I've decided I want to be 134 lbs on the first day back at school. I just need something to give me that little boost to make me feel better about everything, you know? Something to cling onto. I don't want to go back to school stressed about my weight, AND my work. One is enough. I have been naughty and had some chocolate mini eggs after supper this evening, so I doubt I'll be below 138 tomorrow, but as long as I'm not over, I don't really mind. Maybe, if I'm good this weekend, I'll be rewarded with a small loss when I hop on the scales next week? Who knows. I just want that feeling of validation, like something is going right in my life.