Those words belonged to Rebecca, a friend of mine from another time. I miss her like hell at times like these. I go to babysitting and it's not so close to my new house, but I know I have to walk past my old house and through my old street to get home. My mother has offered to collect me. It's raining, torrentially, the water going pitterpatter on the ground outside. I don't care. I borrow an umbrella. I start walking back re-tracing an old path, a path from another time, another universe. I enter my old street, my whole body shaking, and I'm not sure it's from the cold. I stop outside the house. It's all different; new curtains and blinds; even a new door. Black. They got rid of the old wooden one with stain glass... I used to love that stain glass. Through the double window I see figures moving and my heart stills. A car bombs past me and then that's it. It's over. It hits me. I trudge on, then practically run out of the end of the street, leaving that part of myself behind forever.
Perfect ammunition to skip dinner.
~~~
Breakfast, Nothing
Lunch, 4 chocolate rice crispy cakes, 2 slices of Polish bread with hoummous- 450 cal
Snack, Menthol cigarettes, diet pepsi, bubblegum- 50 cal
Dinner, Nothing
Total=500 cal
<3 you! Keep your chin up chick! Xxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteI remember Rebecca. This post is so poetically nostalgic, but at the same time so depressing. The present tense makes it almost chilling. I've read it over three or four times now, and I can't help myself but it's so evocative of this (http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174599) Tennyson poem. Do you know it?
ReplyDeleteLove you,
<3.
Awww sounds like you may possible miss your old house. I don't miss my parents townhouse. It was really small. The house they are in now is almost paid off and that house I would miss. I plan to keep it around even after they passed away. They worked so hard on it. I can't just let someone else have it.
ReplyDeleteYou got to skip two meals today, not bad lady.